"Dear Splashy, I really want to take my 8-month-old baby swimming regularly, but my partner absolutely hates it and refuses to come with us.
It's making me feel like I'm doing everything on my own when it comes to our little one's swimming journey. How can I convince him to join us so we can enjoy this experience as a family?"
Firstly, let me reassure you that you're absolutely not alone in this situation! It's incredibly common for one parent to be the swimming enthusiast while the other would rather do literally anything else. I hear from mums all the time who feel like they're carrying the swimming load solo, and it can feel quite isolating when you're excited about your baby's aquatic adventures, but your partner seems less than thrilled.
Here's the thing, though, and this might not be what you want to hear, but forcing someone who genuinely hates swimming into the pool could actually backfire. Babies and toddlers are incredibly perceptive little beings, and they'll pick up on any negative energy or tension. If your partner is genuinely unhappy in the water, your little one might start associating swimming with stress or negativity, which is the last thing you want when trying to build positive water confidence.
However, there are ways to get your partner more involved without making swimming feel like a chore or punishment for him.
Start Small: The Poolside Support Role
Consider starting with your partner taking on a poolside support role rather than jumping straight into the water. Getting ready for swimming with a baby can be quite the production. There's the packing of the swimming bag, wrestling tiny limbs into swimwear, and then the inevitable post-swim chaos of getting a slippery, potentially grumpy baby dried and dressed. Your partner could be an absolute godsend, handling all this while you focus on the actual swimming bit.
They could be your official photographer, capturing those precious swimming moments and developmental milestones. There's something quite special about having someone dedicated to documenting these experiences, and they'll still feel involved in your baby's swimming journey without having to get wet themselves. Plus, you'll have lovely photos to look back on rather than trying to juggle swimming and photography yourself.
Get to the Root of the Problem
It's worth having a gentle, non-judgmental conversation about why swimming feels so unappealing to them. Often, there's a specific reason behind the reluctance, and once you understand it, you can work together on solutions.
Many adults find public pools uncomfortably chilly, especially when they're not moving around much during baby swimming sessions. Look into local leisure centres with warmer hydrotherapy pools or dedicated baby pools that maintain higher temperatures. Some centres have lovely warm pools specifically designed for young families that make the experience much more comfortable for everyone.
Are they not confident in the water themself? This is more common than you might think, and it can make the prospect of being responsible for a baby in water feel genuinely scary. Would they consider taking some adult swimming lessons? Many pools offer adult-only sessions or even private lessons if they’re feeling self-conscious. Building their own water confidence could transform their attitude towards family swimming.
Some parents feel anxious about swimming with babies because they're not sure about the "right" way to do it. Would they be more interested if you started with instructor-led baby swimming classes? This takes the pressure off parents to know what they're doing, and many parents find they gain confidence quickly when there's professional guidance. The classes also provide structure and social interaction with other families, which can make the whole experience feel less daunting.
If they’re potentially feeling body-conscious, reassure them that while you think they look amazing, you understand the struggle of people seeing you with not much on. Then, show them options like our Thermaswim range, which will offer them stylish and modest cover to help them feel more confident in the water while keeping warm. It is not recommended for use in Hydropools.
Timing and Patience
Remember that people's attitudes can change over time, especially as they see how much joy their child gets from swimming. Your partner might become more interested as your baby grows and starts showing obvious delight in the water, or as they develop more obvious swimming skills that they want to support.
Some parents find that once children are a bit older and swimming becomes more interactive and playful, previously reluctant parents suddenly find themselves enjoying it more. The early baby swimming phase can feel quite passive for parents, but when toddlers start splashing, playing with toys, and really engaging with the water, it often becomes more obviously "fun" for adults, too.
Don't Forget the Practical Benefits
It's worth mentioning the practical advantages of having two parents involved in swimming. With someone else to help, you can relax and enjoy watching your baby's progress rather than feeling like you need to manage everything solo. Two pairs of hands make the whole experience much more manageable and enjoyable.
Plus, if your partner develops confidence and enjoyment around swimming, it opens up possibilities for family holidays and activities that involve water. Swimming becomes a shared family skill rather than something only one parent can supervise.
Ultimately, you know your partner best, and gentle encouragement combined with addressing specific concerns is likely to be more successful than pressure or guilt. Start small, be patient, and remember that even if they never becomes a swimming enthusiast, there are still meaningful ways for them to support your family's swimming journey.
And in the meantime? Don't feel guilty about taking your baby swimming solo. You're doing something wonderful for your child's development, confidence, and health. Your baby will benefit enormously from regular swimming, regardless of whether both parents are in the pool.
Happy splashing! Splashy x
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